We are about to embark on a boat ride in which we have been promised to see at least one dolphin. I hope we see many. The last few days in gulf shores has been quiet but fun. There have been shark alerts all week too. Fantastic.
I'm not much of a beach person, not much of a water person in general. Must be the skin colouring. I do like to be outside so that helps. Time is getting much closer to our departure for Colorado. I am growing more and more excited. My husband is growing more and more cautious.
All I can ask is that the Lord will remind us of his promises.
Will post again when we have a minute.
Monday, July 19, 2004
Friday, July 16, 2004
Thursday, July 15, 2004
PXP
Well, it's my last day here at PXP. I am more sad to see it go than I intended. I realized what a big role this job played in J's and my transition time. We have been here for over 8 months, there have been many ups and downs, but all in all, it has been a great opportunity. If anything, it has been our provision.
I've met some great friends, worked for almost 4 different departments, moved 4 times, and have survived with and without phones and computers for long periods of time. I have had nothing to do and I have had endless tasks. I have been offered 2 job openings and I will leave with none. I have spent 320 commuting hours of quality time with my father and I will never forget his words. Mostly, this job has given us the freedom to dream, to try and fail, to try and succeed, and to believe in ourselves. Without this position we might still be wondering what our future might hold and when it might start. So, thank you PXP for the opportunity and thank you Lord for your provision.
We are trusting the same for Colorado.
I've met some great friends, worked for almost 4 different departments, moved 4 times, and have survived with and without phones and computers for long periods of time. I have had nothing to do and I have had endless tasks. I have been offered 2 job openings and I will leave with none. I have spent 320 commuting hours of quality time with my father and I will never forget his words. Mostly, this job has given us the freedom to dream, to try and fail, to try and succeed, and to believe in ourselves. Without this position we might still be wondering what our future might hold and when it might start. So, thank you PXP for the opportunity and thank you Lord for your provision.
We are trusting the same for Colorado.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
A Little Reassurance
Dear J,
It's been 24 hours since our big decision and I thought we could both use a little reminding. We need to remember it's okay when people don't understand, when they question us, when they sound concerned. After all, this isn't something people do everyday but I would bet that most wish they could. We need to remember a balance. While it's okay to try and help people to feel like we are making a wise decision, we can't make their minds think like ours. Sometimes the best answer is, "I just don't know."
Conventionalism will get us nowhere and neither will talking in a responsible voice. The more we try to pursued our audience the more it will end up sounding like we are trying to convince ourselves. There is danger in thinking too much, in chasing down variables. This allows for doubt and insecurities. Remember Abram, he built an alter to the Lord to remember His promises. In the same way, we can choose to hide these promises in our hearts or to let them pass, because they ultimately will.
Bottom line, we are convinced this is our hearts cry, this is our only option if we want to live a full life. That strength, that longing, needs to be how we communicate this truth. We can not settle for anything less.
Lets face it, we aren't cut out for the typical life. We put up a good fight but ultimately gave in. I just hope that we are able to encourage other people and other couples like us that there is a place and use for their talents, as big as their dreams even. In fact, that is a huge part of our mission.
I have many dreams...
- to own a home
- to drive a volvo
- have a family
- getting to cook dinner every night
- win american idol
- be successful with luckilu
- share the love of Jesus
- show others how to love
- be a good wife
- paint my living room teal
- write a book
- master illustrator
Those are just a few. I bet it is obvious which ones I am willing to chase with full abandonment. Honestly, I would give up anything if I thought that meant we would not reach our full potential in ministry and in our family. Nothing is worth that.
So finally, here we are, standing out over the last 9 months of those darker times, soaking in the light and direction. You know what I have to say about that? This light is so refreshing, keep it comin'!
I love you,
Sarah
It's been 24 hours since our big decision and I thought we could both use a little reminding. We need to remember it's okay when people don't understand, when they question us, when they sound concerned. After all, this isn't something people do everyday but I would bet that most wish they could. We need to remember a balance. While it's okay to try and help people to feel like we are making a wise decision, we can't make their minds think like ours. Sometimes the best answer is, "I just don't know."
Conventionalism will get us nowhere and neither will talking in a responsible voice. The more we try to pursued our audience the more it will end up sounding like we are trying to convince ourselves. There is danger in thinking too much, in chasing down variables. This allows for doubt and insecurities. Remember Abram, he built an alter to the Lord to remember His promises. In the same way, we can choose to hide these promises in our hearts or to let them pass, because they ultimately will.
Bottom line, we are convinced this is our hearts cry, this is our only option if we want to live a full life. That strength, that longing, needs to be how we communicate this truth. We can not settle for anything less.
Lets face it, we aren't cut out for the typical life. We put up a good fight but ultimately gave in. I just hope that we are able to encourage other people and other couples like us that there is a place and use for their talents, as big as their dreams even. In fact, that is a huge part of our mission.
I have many dreams...
- to own a home
- to drive a volvo
- have a family
- getting to cook dinner every night
- win american idol
- be successful with luckilu
- share the love of Jesus
- show others how to love
- be a good wife
- paint my living room teal
- write a book
- master illustrator
Those are just a few. I bet it is obvious which ones I am willing to chase with full abandonment. Honestly, I would give up anything if I thought that meant we would not reach our full potential in ministry and in our family. Nothing is worth that.
So finally, here we are, standing out over the last 9 months of those darker times, soaking in the light and direction. You know what I have to say about that? This light is so refreshing, keep it comin'!
I love you,
Sarah
Tracy
Tracy is one of the most forward thinking and beautiful people I know. Before we met in August I already knew so much about her. Months before, in conversation with friends, they would bring her up. Everyone said "you need to meet this girl." It was within the first few moments of meeting her that I felt connected. Maybe it's because she is good with people, maybe because she wears her heart on her sleeve, or maybe because she is of one mind.
We spent some time with Tracy before J and I left Colorado in September. Over that time she discussed dreams, visions, her heart, ministry, and her life, with J and I. Never before had someone been so open, so transparent, in such a small period of time.
She is brave, free, talented and passionate. She lives fully and never lets her dreams go to waste. Tracy reminds me that no dream is too big, no joy is too small, and no vision is worth a half-pursuit.
I was reminded of Tracy last night as J and I discussed our future plans. I remembered her confidence on the porch swing, her awareness on pearl street, and her openness in her home. She does not waver and I am inspired by her strength.
We spent some time with Tracy before J and I left Colorado in September. Over that time she discussed dreams, visions, her heart, ministry, and her life, with J and I. Never before had someone been so open, so transparent, in such a small period of time.
She is brave, free, talented and passionate. She lives fully and never lets her dreams go to waste. Tracy reminds me that no dream is too big, no joy is too small, and no vision is worth a half-pursuit.
I was reminded of Tracy last night as J and I discussed our future plans. I remembered her confidence on the porch swing, her awareness on pearl street, and her openness in her home. She does not waver and I am inspired by her strength.
Amen
"Life is like that sometimes. Every now and then, we can feel it changing before our eyes; it’s as if we standing on dirt, and watching the earth shift and move beneath our feet. It is blindingly fast, and we must find the courage to hold on. I admit to being terrified of this in many ways for many reasons, but some say that the things we are most afraid of, are the things we should run furiously into; arms spread wide, around our open hearts. But fear, my friends, is only fear. It is one of those things in life that can be completely paralyzing, and can keep us from living fully and finding our truth. So off I go. I simply must trust my heart, as frightening as that may be sometimes. Not to metion the fact, that my joy in this, completely outshines the fear. My knowing that this is my path, is so much stronger than the unknown places i visit. I simply cannot ignore it, as it won’t go away, and it seems to grow brighter by the hour. So I leap, flying from the edge of the cliff. Faith. What a glorious concept. And who knows where this will all take me? Life will tell me, if only I have the courage to listen. So much of this, so much of my life right now, is about me having the strength to trust the universe. To listen closely, and live an honest life."
The above quotes are from The Great Sitting, written in a time of great change.
I feel like those words ring true in my heart, so deep that they find a place to settle and soak in. There is no better way to describe it. The rush of change has been so quick, so effortless, that we have no choice but to follow. We have been waiting for these last 24 hours for 9 months and now that it is here we are grabbing on and holding tight.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Faith
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all men generously and without reproaching, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways, will receive anything from the Lord.
Doubt is a tricky thing. It disguises itself with concern and logic. It leaves the mind and heart at war within its being and causes visions to become hazy.
I desperately want to be of one mind and one purpose.
If You'll Just Sign Here...
"Hmm....thanks, but no thanks. You can keep your large salary, full benefits, vacations paid, 5 year job security offer because frankly, this spring chicken is just not interested."
Well, at least I have a better offer. Oh wait...
This is similar to the opening biography to some mega-millionaire, American dream story. Turns down a great offer to pursue a riskier, more demanding, possibly lower paying but hopefully with a higher reward position. However, not in my case. Sure, the risk is there, it's lower paying, but I don't see the higher rewards funneling in anytime soon. Isn't that the whole point of taking such a big step, leap, err...plummet?
Strangely, I feel liberated and peaceful. Maybe I should have done this sooner.
Gulf Shores
| On Friday J and I are packing up and heading off to a big Hornsby family reunion in Gulf Shores, Orange Beach, Alabama. There ain't nothing like a bunch of tall (except me), red headed, white skinned, freckled, skin cancer conscience, beachbums. I for one cannot wait! In celebration of that days quick arrival, here is a list of things I must accomplish before we leave * pack up our 8x10 room * purchase a fancy blowdryer * try that new Colgate Cinnamon toothpaste * purchase 50mg Zinc tablets * write out 50 year life plan and begin immediately Hmmm.... that should be it. |  To Do List Originally uploaded by luckilu. |
Monday, July 12, 2004
The Call of Abram
1Then the LORD told Abram, "Leave your country, your relatives, and your father's house, and go to the land that I will show you. 2I will cause you to become the father of a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and I will make you a blessing to others. 3I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you. All the families of the earth will be blessed through you."
Crossroads
When it comes to making a decision I have two categories, big and everyday. In the last month I would say about 5 big decisions have been mulled over and each time I let these little opportunities shift my mind set. I can make an everyday decision with no regrets. They are smaller, easier to change, and unnoticeable in the big scheme of life. However, when it comes to making a big decision I analyze the crap out of it. I worry about the consequences of making the wrong choice, if we will be able to pay our bills, what type of job I will have, what if in 10 years I regret our choice, etc. I can't sleep, I can't think about anything but this massive decision hanging over my head. I needed a change of perspective.
Now all the sudden I see these obstacles much more as opportunities than decisions. Just like deciding to go to India for our honeymoon. We wanted to go, so we made a way. I didn't even think twice about the decision and I think it's one of the best things J and I ever did. I want to see these possibilities in the same light. J said something to me last night that made me think. I asked him what he wanted, where he wanted to go, and he said Boulder. Choking back a gasp of surprise it took a second for that to sink in. He went on further to say we should never not do something we want because we think it is impossible. If we are supposed to be there and that is where our favor is, then that is where the Lord will bless us.
It's hard for me not to look at financial statistics as blessings. I know it can be but just because you have money doesn't mean you are blessed and just because you are wanting doesn't mean you are not in God's favor. I agree with J about Boulder but not without my fears and reservations. I feel like I could have made this decision a year ago and wouldn't have been so worried. Is this what happens to you when you become a "responsible adult" cause I don't like it. I never want to hinder our future because I was too afraid to even take my first steps.
A big change is coming and I hope I'm prepared for whatever the outcome may be.
On a side note, I can hear the person above me singing in his office. Hope he is having a great day.
Now all the sudden I see these obstacles much more as opportunities than decisions. Just like deciding to go to India for our honeymoon. We wanted to go, so we made a way. I didn't even think twice about the decision and I think it's one of the best things J and I ever did. I want to see these possibilities in the same light. J said something to me last night that made me think. I asked him what he wanted, where he wanted to go, and he said Boulder. Choking back a gasp of surprise it took a second for that to sink in. He went on further to say we should never not do something we want because we think it is impossible. If we are supposed to be there and that is where our favor is, then that is where the Lord will bless us.
It's hard for me not to look at financial statistics as blessings. I know it can be but just because you have money doesn't mean you are blessed and just because you are wanting doesn't mean you are not in God's favor. I agree with J about Boulder but not without my fears and reservations. I feel like I could have made this decision a year ago and wouldn't have been so worried. Is this what happens to you when you become a "responsible adult" cause I don't like it. I never want to hinder our future because I was too afraid to even take my first steps.
A big change is coming and I hope I'm prepared for whatever the outcome may be.
On a side note, I can hear the person above me singing in his office. Hope he is having a great day.
Friday, July 09, 2004
Friday Five
1. Do you own a wristwatch? Describe. I've never called it a wristwatch but I do have a watch I wear on my wrist. It's a manly watch for such a small petite person. Made by Arnet. It has a huge face plate that is digitalized with alarms, 3 different time zone settings, and a nifty little stop watch. I like it although my husband has it with him in Colorado, so I am not wearing it at the moment.
2. How old were in you 1997? 15. I was dating this guy W who swore he was going to marry me and lived 5 states away. He was a really good friend and I miss getting to see him. He is actually getting married next year. Yay for him!
3. Which is more important – financial success or personal happiness? Seems like this question should be easy enough to answer. Of course I want personal happiness and I think there is some point when finances have to play into that. Not to say you can't be happy living on a can of beans but not my first choice.
4. Can you whistle? Only to a certain octave. I have a friend who can whistle like a songbird. I love that!
5. Do you believe in the supernatural? Yes
2. How old were in you 1997? 15. I was dating this guy W who swore he was going to marry me and lived 5 states away. He was a really good friend and I miss getting to see him. He is actually getting married next year. Yay for him!
3. Which is more important – financial success or personal happiness? Seems like this question should be easy enough to answer. Of course I want personal happiness and I think there is some point when finances have to play into that. Not to say you can't be happy living on a can of beans but not my first choice.
4. Can you whistle? Only to a certain octave. I have a friend who can whistle like a songbird. I love that!
5. Do you believe in the supernatural? Yes
Laughing at Yourself
This morning, on my way into work, I was trying to remove a piece of hair from my eye while walking through the underground tunnel in Houston. However, instead of grabbing the piece of hair and repositioning it where it belongs, I poked myself abruptly in the eye. For some reason, I started to laugh hysterically. You should have seen the looks I was getting from all the other employees on their way to work.
In the moment I thought, "it shows confidence to be able to laugh at ones self." Now I realize I just looked like a drunk loon as I pointed at my eye and said, "I just poked myself in the eye, yeah, I just poked myself" to all the innocent people trying to make their way to work by 8am.
Sorry guys. Happy Friday.
In the moment I thought, "it shows confidence to be able to laugh at ones self." Now I realize I just looked like a drunk loon as I pointed at my eye and said, "I just poked myself in the eye, yeah, I just poked myself" to all the innocent people trying to make their way to work by 8am.
Sorry guys. Happy Friday.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
First Times
- July 4th, 2001 was the first time I thought "I'm going to marry this man"
- July 10th, 2001 my first time overseas
- April 18th, 2002 was the first time I moved by myself to a new place
- May 1, 2002 my very first Admin job
- March 8, 2003 my first marriage and my last
All those things are big milestones in my life; however, I have more butterflies typing this first post than I did treking all those adventures combined.
I read once that adventure is just fear in hindsite. 100% agree!
Welcome to my blog. It will mostly be my thoughts, things of interest, and pictures. I'm not a writer and I'm not a photographer. I just like to express myself
- July 10th, 2001 my first time overseas
- April 18th, 2002 was the first time I moved by myself to a new place
- May 1, 2002 my very first Admin job
- March 8, 2003 my first marriage and my last
All those things are big milestones in my life; however, I have more butterflies typing this first post than I did treking all those adventures combined.
I read once that adventure is just fear in hindsite. 100% agree!
Welcome to my blog. It will mostly be my thoughts, things of interest, and pictures. I'm not a writer and I'm not a photographer. I just like to express myself
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