Crossroads

When it comes to making a decision I have two categories, big and everyday. In the last month I would say about 5 big decisions have been mulled over and each time I let these little opportunities shift my mind set. I can make an everyday decision with no regrets. They are smaller, easier to change, and unnoticeable in the big scheme of life. However, when it comes to making a big decision I analyze the crap out of it. I worry about the consequences of making the wrong choice, if we will be able to pay our bills, what type of job I will have, what if in 10 years I regret our choice, etc. I can't sleep, I can't think about anything but this massive decision hanging over my head. I needed a change of perspective.

Now all the sudden I see these obstacles much more as opportunities than decisions. Just like deciding to go to India for our honeymoon. We wanted to go, so we made a way. I didn't even think twice about the decision and I think it's one of the best things J and I ever did. I want to see these possibilities in the same light. J said something to me last night that made me think. I asked him what he wanted, where he wanted to go, and he said Boulder. Choking back a gasp of surprise it took a second for that to sink in. He went on further to say we should never not do something we want because we think it is impossible. If we are supposed to be there and that is where our favor is, then that is where the Lord will bless us.

It's hard for me not to look at financial statistics as blessings. I know it can be but just because you have money doesn't mean you are blessed and just because you are wanting doesn't mean you are not in God's favor. I agree with J about Boulder but not without my fears and reservations. I feel like I could have made this decision a year ago and wouldn't have been so worried. Is this what happens to you when you become a "responsible adult" cause I don't like it. I never want to hinder our future because I was too afraid to even take my first steps.

A big change is coming and I hope I'm prepared for whatever the outcome may be.

On a side note, I can hear the person above me singing in his office. Hope he is having a great day.