Mr. Copper

Mr. Copper has spent his first weekend away from us and we are very ready to be back home with our cuddly beagle. We adopted Copper from a hound rescue group one month ago. He is about 10 months old and is very affectionate. We love you Copper, even though you ate Dad's sunglasses.

Mr. Copper Originally uploaded by luckilu.

history

Oh how the times have changed. I am very blessed to look back at my time, as Mrs. Jared Hornsby, and see the changes the Lord has brought us to. We are thankful for the Lord's provision and loving being in Baotn Rouge.

history Originally uploaded by luckilu.

P for Progress

I start my first, real, grown up job tomorrow morning! I've worked for several years but I have never had the luxury of a salary, vacation paid, sick day, benefits, etc. job as I will starting tomorrow morning. I realize that "grown up" jobs also come with their downfalls, which I full intend to become aware of after tomorrow; however, right now I am basking in the good things.

Adopt A Cat

On Friday night I found a little black kitten curled up under J's jeep. As I bent down to coerce it out from under its hiding spot, it began to stretch and yawn. Finally, taking three or four big steps, and leaving half of his being far behind him, he started to warm up. Meowing and chatting up a storm. We bonded.

Against my husband's better judgment, I ran inside to grab a can of tuna fish. When I arrived back outside the little black kitten was no where to be seen. Sadly, I packed up my tuna and headed back inside.

Before bed I poked my head out the window one last time hoping to catch another glimpse of my little friend. He was on the side of the driveway, facing the house, with something very strange in his mouth. Poor little field mouse crossed a hungry feline that night. Pushing back thoughts of poor Stuart Little being snatched up and gobbled by Tinkerbell, I still managed to think, at least the kitten had something to eat.

boston terrier

I don't want to hear any more stories about how hyper, or skiddish, this cute puppy can be, because frankly - I am no longer listening. My mind is made up. The classifieds have been circled, calls have been made, now I just have to pick one out.

boston terrier Originally uploaded by luckilu.

American Idol Tryouts

If I ever tried out for American Idol I would sing a song from Patty Griffin's 100 Kisses Album. I always said that if I could figure out a good song to sing I would try out. Now I know that's not really true. Now I have a good song, yet that still doesn't make me want to try out. You may say, that's a waste of a good song - that may be true.

I would like to try out, make it to Hollywood, and then get kicked off for some stupid reason. The fans would be in an upheaval and next thing I'd know, I'd be making my own CD before that season of American Idol is even over. I'd have one really big hit and after that I would retire, playing only independent music and shows. Then I would use my fame to promote Luckilu, Jared would be able to get his BMW with IPod port built into the dash (and remotes on the steering wheel) and I would get a Lexus SUV with the light pink champagne paint job.

We'd build a small house in several different cities, breed bulldogs, and live happily ever after.

Now, if that would just happen, I'd try out for American Idol.

Me

I'm learning how to treat my husband, how to love him, how to help him, and how to honor him. I want to be better at it than I am. I am still selfish when it comes to my desires and wants. I have not yet learned compromise or selfsacrifice.

This weekend I learned a lot about myself, things I don't really like, and things that I needed to see. It's hard to go through this process of realizing I'm not always right. I pray that I have more knowledge now, of myself and my actions, to learn how to conquer these problems. I want to be a better wife.

Tangled Web of Yarn

Filling out kitty adoption papers this morning in hopes to add a new family member this weekend. Here are a few questions I had to, well, lie about. It's for the good of the cat.

4. Does everyone in your household want and love cats? Absolutely. In actuality, Jared isn't too crazy about the idea.

6. Does anyone in your household have allergies? Not that I am aware of. Do swollen eyes, itchy nose, and headaches when playing with cats fit this description?

9. Under what circumstances would you consider giving up this cat?
a. Under No Circumstances
b. Moving
c. Pregnancy
d. Kids Grown
e. Allergies
f. Relationship Problems (Human)
g. Heath Problems (Cat)
h. Other

10. Would you object to a Cat Haven representative visiting your home? Perfectly fine. Why the heck would you visit my home? I'm not a psycho.

20. What do you consider unacceptable behavior for your cat? Cats can be trained to behave, with a little time and patience. Clawing my eyes out, clawing the drapes, destroying my possessions, treating the ficus as a little box, etc. etc.

********

Hmm, this isn't a good sign.

Confessions, part I

I am itching to get home and grab my sketchbook. I have so many ideas that are being stirred inside and I have to get them out on paper. I'm struggling with learning how to make a transition between who I have been and what I want to be. None knows me as an artist, especially since my husband exudes his creativity, but I think it's time I own up to who I really am. A confession...

When I was younger I loved to draw. I mostly sketched, had buckets of crayola markers, and could spend hours doodling on a big sheet of paper. I never took it seriously.

I will never forget the day I did a doodle for Jared. It was about a year ago, at our friend's home in Divide, Colorado. I can't remember what he was doing but I was alone most of the day and I just happened to run across a big box of markers. I didn't think Russell (my 7 year old buddy) would mind if I borrowed them for a bit. I cleared a spot on the floor (my favorite place to work) and began creating. About 2 hours later I had a picture that made me blush with pride. Bright colors, obscure figures, and lots of flowers, all made this picture somehow more mature than the ones before. It had been about 3 years since I had really let loose and it felt amazing.

Needless to say, the markers made their way out on the floor more often after that day. I was just coloring for fun and I was becoming better with every shape and design. By this point every day was filled with new ideas and I couldn't wait to get home and play.

I still have a lot to learn. I don't know if I'll ever accomplish all I dream of when it comes to my art, but I want to try. Coming to Baton Rouge, I knew I wanted to make time to really explore this piece of me.

I feel like I have to voice what I want for fear that I might push it further back. I want to end up doing this, this luckilu thing, for my career. I don't know if I am good enough yet. I don't know if I have what it takes to be the best, but I do know I desire it more than anything else. I want it. I can taste it. There will always be someone better, always someone's work I compare myself negatively to, but right now, I want to be oblivious to that. Right now, I just want to have fun.

My first goal is to have the luckilu site up and running by the end of this year. I want it to be sooner, but I always want it to be well thought out. That would be the best Christmas present ever.

********

Update: I'm feeling a little better about the job situation. About 10 minutes after I wrote my last post, Jared called to say he has a job! Yay! Also, the bank contacted me to say "expect an offer soon." Thank you Lord. It doesn't take much to turn your day around!

Want Ads

I am starting to feel the pressure of not being able to find a job. Not that I haven't been feeling it, just that if I don't hear something this week I am basically starting over from the beginning on the ol' job hunt. I've sent out a zillion resumes, I've interviewed with a lot of places, I'm with about 12 temp agencies; yet, I can't seem to find a permanent job.

One good thing is I haven't gotten the stiff from anyone, yet. Everyone is still in the reviewing process. This is only my second week at my temp job (which is supposed to be 5 weeks long) but I am ready to hear yay or nay from these companies. Just so I know how hard to hit interviewing again.

I really don't want J to know how overwhelmed I am about it all. Just starting school this week is hard enough and I don't want to have us both freaking out.

I'm just constantly praying for a permanent offer. I need a little more patience.

Taking Applications

I'm in need of a good girls night out. It's been over a year, well, I would venture to say since College, that I had a really close girlfriend. It's at the point that I would walk up to someone in a Starbucks and tell her she has cute shoes, just to open the opportunity for friendship.

When you are an adult how exactly do you make friends? I know people at my work but things have changed since high school and college. For some reason, no one wants to hang out with anyone from work, after work hours. We can all be nice and close at the office but it doesn't mix outside it's borders. In high school, I could have every class with one person, drive to school with them, eat lunch with them, and go to church with them. Still, I would spend time with them after school hours. Somehow that transition doesn't work in the working environment.

So if you don't make friends at work, where do you make them? Living in Louisiana is fine. I have no complaints, except Jared has a lot of friends, and I have none. I'm ready to have a good friend and I'm now taking applications.

Persian

J and I traveled to Dallas this weekend for his sisters send off to Romania. Saturday there was a big party at her friends home and on Sunday her church commissioned her journey. The real highligh for me was Saturday. We walked into her friends home and there was the cutest cat I have ever seen. All curled up, on a very beautiful piece of antique furniture, lay my new favorite animal, a persian cat. Needless to say, I had a buddy the rest of the evening. Ally was a grey and white persian kitten, about 9 months old. She was the fluffiest, softest, cutest, little ball of a kitten ever. She reminded me of a stuffed cat I had when I was younger. I used to carry that cat from room to room and it was always present as a pillow during long movies. We cuddled and exchanged effections the rest of the evening. When I woke up the next morning, after dreaming of owning my own Persian kitty, I was experiencing an overwhelming case of allergies. Swollen eyes, purple with irritation, and sneezing. Nothing a little Claritin won't clear up. I'm searching the wanted ads as we speak.

Persian Originally uploaded by luckilu.

Identity Crisis

Wait a second, is that a white Michael Jackson with black hands? Makes you wonder if from theneck down he is still kickin it play'a style. Segway, this reminds me of a funny story about my sister. Being younger than I, she wasn't old enough to remember the whole Jackson race change thing. So, in some conversation on a Friday night, we are discussing Miss Jackson and I mentioned Michael being her brother. She not only didn't know they were related, but also couldn't figure out how he was white and she was black. Confusing for all.

MichaelJackson_Pool_3215389_600_300x435 Originally uploaded by luckilu.

Turn for the better

Just for those of you who have not yet heard it from me, these last few weeks have been the hardest I have ever gone through. We thought we have everything figured out but so quickly we realized we did not. Our bags were packed for Boulder but somehow things just weren't making sense. It happened in Gulf Shores. After having another lengthy discussion with Jared regarding what we wanted, we decided to reevaluate our plans.

Now here I am, sitting ourside of CC's coffee in Baton Rouge, LA, running on the macs reserve battery power, to let you know - we have moved to Baton Rouge. We have a house, not just a home but a real house. It has 3 bedrooms and the biggest laundry room I have ever seen. We have both cars (to which only one is running) and all of our belongings in one place, all of them. For those of you who know Jared and I well, this is the biggest sigh of relief.

I loved being in Houston but we never had our own place. For the last 9 months my husband and I have slept on seperate beds, been in seperate states, and worked any and random jobs. I sometimes miss driving to work every morning with my dad and all the familiar faces I saw at the office. However, I do not miss living in a 8 by 10 bedroom and only talking to my husband for 20 minutes via the cell phone every night.

Jared is enrolled at LSU, we got all his student loan paper work taken care of, we have moved, and I have about 12 job possibilities. For some reason, even though everything is so new, this feels like home. It feels perfect.

Sorry for not updating recently. There have been daily changes and I was waiting for things to make a little more sense. Good news is we have a room dedicated to our guests now, so come on, don't be shy, we know you want to visit.

A Dolphin Ride

We are about to embark on a boat ride in which we have been promised to see at least one dolphin. I hope we see many. The last few days in gulf shores has been quiet but fun. There have been shark alerts all week too. Fantastic.

I'm not much of a beach person, not much of a water person in general. Must be the skin colouring. I do like to be outside so that helps. Time is getting much closer to our departure for Colorado. I am growing more and more excited. My husband is growing more and more cautious.

All I can ask is that the Lord will remind us of his promises.

Will post again when we have a minute.

5am

Tired.  5am.  Driving. 

PXP

Well, it's my last day here at PXP. I am more sad to see it go than I intended. I realized what a big role this job played in J's and my transition time. We have been here for over 8 months, there have been many ups and downs, but all in all, it has been a great opportunity. If anything, it has been our provision.

I've met some great friends, worked for almost 4 different departments, moved 4 times, and have survived with and without phones and computers for long periods of time. I have had nothing to do and I have had endless tasks. I have been offered 2 job openings and I will leave with none. I have spent 320 commuting hours of quality time with my father and I will never forget his words. Mostly, this job has given us the freedom to dream, to try and fail, to try and succeed, and to believe in ourselves. Without this position we might still be wondering what our future might hold and when it might start. So, thank you PXP for the opportunity and thank you Lord for your provision.

We are trusting the same for Colorado.

A Little Reassurance

Dear J,

It's been 24 hours since our big decision and I thought we could both use a little reminding. We need to remember it's okay when people don't understand, when they question us, when they sound concerned. After all, this isn't something people do everyday but I would bet that most wish they could. We need to remember a balance. While it's okay to try and help people to feel like we are making a wise decision, we can't make their minds think like ours. Sometimes the best answer is, "I just don't know."

Conventionalism will get us nowhere and neither will talking in a responsible voice. The more we try to pursued our audience the more it will end up sounding like we are trying to convince ourselves. There is danger in thinking too much, in chasing down variables. This allows for doubt and insecurities. Remember Abram, he built an alter to the Lord to remember His promises. In the same way, we can choose to hide these promises in our hearts or to let them pass, because they ultimately will.

Bottom line, we are convinced this is our hearts cry, this is our only option if we want to live a full life. That strength, that longing, needs to be how we communicate this truth. We can not settle for anything less.

Lets face it, we aren't cut out for the typical life. We put up a good fight but ultimately gave in. I just hope that we are able to encourage other people and other couples like us that there is a place and use for their talents, as big as their dreams even. In fact, that is a huge part of our mission.

I have many dreams...

- to own a home
- to drive a volvo
- have a family
- getting to cook dinner every night
- win american idol
- be successful with luckilu
- share the love of Jesus
- show others how to love
- be a good wife
- paint my living room teal
- write a book
- master illustrator

Those are just a few. I bet it is obvious which ones I am willing to chase with full abandonment. Honestly, I would give up anything if I thought that meant we would not reach our full potential in ministry and in our family. Nothing is worth that.

So finally, here we are, standing out over the last 9 months of those darker times, soaking in the light and direction. You know what I have to say about that? This light is so refreshing, keep it comin'!

I love you,

Sarah

Tracy

Tracy is one of the most forward thinking and beautiful people I know. Before we met in August I already knew so much about her. Months before, in conversation with friends, they would bring her up. Everyone said "you need to meet this girl." It was within the first few moments of meeting her that I felt connected. Maybe it's because she is good with people, maybe because she wears her heart on her sleeve, or maybe because she is of one mind.

We spent some time with Tracy before J and I left Colorado in September. Over that time she discussed dreams, visions, her heart, ministry, and her life, with J and I. Never before had someone been so open, so transparent, in such a small period of time.

She is brave, free, talented and passionate. She lives fully and never lets her dreams go to waste. Tracy reminds me that no dream is too big, no joy is too small, and no vision is worth a half-pursuit.

I was reminded of Tracy last night as J and I discussed our future plans. I remembered her confidence on the porch swing, her awareness on pearl street, and her openness in her home. She does not waver and I am inspired by her strength.

Amen

"Life is like that sometimes. Every now and then, we can feel it changing before our eyes; it’s as if we standing on dirt, and watching the earth shift and move beneath our feet. It is blindingly fast, and we must find the courage to hold on. I admit to being terrified of this in many ways for many reasons, but some say that the things we are most afraid of, are the things we should run furiously into; arms spread wide, around our open hearts. But fear, my friends, is only fear. It is one of those things in life that can be completely paralyzing, and can keep us from living fully and finding our truth. So off I go. I simply must trust my heart, as frightening as that may be sometimes. Not to metion the fact, that my joy in this, completely outshines the fear. My knowing that this is my path, is so much stronger than the unknown places i visit. I simply cannot ignore it, as it won’t go away, and it seems to grow brighter by the hour. So I leap, flying from the edge of the cliff. Faith. What a glorious concept. And who knows where this will all take me? Life will tell me, if only I have the courage to listen. So much of this, so much of my life right now, is about me having the strength to trust the universe. To listen closely, and live an honest life."

The above quotes are from The Great Sitting, written in a time of great change.

I feel like those words ring true in my heart, so deep that they find a place to settle and soak in. There is no better way to describe it. The rush of change has been so quick, so effortless, that we have no choice but to follow. We have been waiting for these last 24 hours for 9 months and now that it is here we are grabbing on and holding tight.

Faith

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all men generously and without reproaching, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways, will receive anything from the Lord.

Doubt is a tricky thing. It disguises itself with concern and logic. It leaves the mind and heart at war within its being and causes visions to become hazy.

I desperately want to be of one mind and one purpose.

If You'll Just Sign Here...

"Hmm....thanks, but no thanks. You can keep your large salary, full benefits, vacations paid, 5 year job security offer because frankly, this spring chicken is just not interested."

Well, at least I have a better offer. Oh wait...

This is similar to the opening biography to some mega-millionaire, American dream story. Turns down a great offer to pursue a riskier, more demanding, possibly lower paying but hopefully with a higher reward position. However, not in my case. Sure, the risk is there, it's lower paying, but I don't see the higher rewards funneling in anytime soon. Isn't that the whole point of taking such a big step, leap, err...plummet?

Strangely, I feel liberated and peaceful. Maybe I should have done this sooner.

Gulf Shores

On Friday J and I are packing up and heading off to a big Hornsby family reunion in Gulf Shores, Orange Beach, Alabama. There ain't nothing like a bunch of tall (except me), red headed, white skinned, freckled, skin cancer conscience, beachbums. I for one cannot wait! In celebration of that days quick arrival, here is a list of things I must accomplish before we leave * pack up our 8x10 room * purchase a fancy blowdryer * try that new Colgate Cinnamon toothpaste * purchase 50mg Zinc tablets * write out 50 year life plan and begin immediately Hmmm.... that should be it.

To Do List Originally uploaded by luckilu.

The Call of Abram

1Then the LORD told Abram, "Leave your country, your relatives, and your father's house, and go to the land that I will show you. 2I will cause you to become the father of a great nation. I will bless you and make you famous, and I will make you a blessing to others. 3I will bless those who bless you and curse those who curse you. All the families of the earth will be blessed through you."

Crossroads

When it comes to making a decision I have two categories, big and everyday. In the last month I would say about 5 big decisions have been mulled over and each time I let these little opportunities shift my mind set. I can make an everyday decision with no regrets. They are smaller, easier to change, and unnoticeable in the big scheme of life. However, when it comes to making a big decision I analyze the crap out of it. I worry about the consequences of making the wrong choice, if we will be able to pay our bills, what type of job I will have, what if in 10 years I regret our choice, etc. I can't sleep, I can't think about anything but this massive decision hanging over my head. I needed a change of perspective.

Now all the sudden I see these obstacles much more as opportunities than decisions. Just like deciding to go to India for our honeymoon. We wanted to go, so we made a way. I didn't even think twice about the decision and I think it's one of the best things J and I ever did. I want to see these possibilities in the same light. J said something to me last night that made me think. I asked him what he wanted, where he wanted to go, and he said Boulder. Choking back a gasp of surprise it took a second for that to sink in. He went on further to say we should never not do something we want because we think it is impossible. If we are supposed to be there and that is where our favor is, then that is where the Lord will bless us.

It's hard for me not to look at financial statistics as blessings. I know it can be but just because you have money doesn't mean you are blessed and just because you are wanting doesn't mean you are not in God's favor. I agree with J about Boulder but not without my fears and reservations. I feel like I could have made this decision a year ago and wouldn't have been so worried. Is this what happens to you when you become a "responsible adult" cause I don't like it. I never want to hinder our future because I was too afraid to even take my first steps.

A big change is coming and I hope I'm prepared for whatever the outcome may be.

On a side note, I can hear the person above me singing in his office. Hope he is having a great day.

Friday Five

1. Do you own a wristwatch? Describe. I've never called it a wristwatch but I do have a watch I wear on my wrist. It's a manly watch for such a small petite person. Made by Arnet. It has a huge face plate that is digitalized with alarms, 3 different time zone settings, and a nifty little stop watch. I like it although my husband has it with him in Colorado, so I am not wearing it at the moment.

2. How old were in you 1997? 15. I was dating this guy W who swore he was going to marry me and lived 5 states away. He was a really good friend and I miss getting to see him. He is actually getting married next year. Yay for him!

3. Which is more important – financial success or personal happiness? Seems like this question should be easy enough to answer. Of course I want personal happiness and I think there is some point when finances have to play into that. Not to say you can't be happy living on a can of beans but not my first choice.

4. Can you whistle? Only to a certain octave. I have a friend who can whistle like a songbird. I love that!

5. Do you believe in the supernatural? Yes

Laughing at Yourself

This morning, on my way into work, I was trying to remove a piece of hair from my eye while walking through the underground tunnel in Houston. However, instead of grabbing the piece of hair and repositioning it where it belongs, I poked myself abruptly in the eye. For some reason, I started to laugh hysterically. You should have seen the looks I was getting from all the other employees on their way to work.

In the moment I thought, "it shows confidence to be able to laugh at ones self." Now I realize I just looked like a drunk loon as I pointed at my eye and said, "I just poked myself in the eye, yeah, I just poked myself" to all the innocent people trying to make their way to work by 8am.

Sorry guys. Happy Friday.

First Times

- July 4th, 2001 was the first time I thought "I'm going to marry this man"
- July 10th, 2001 my first time overseas
- April 18th, 2002 was the first time I moved by myself to a new place
- May 1, 2002 my very first Admin job
- March 8, 2003 my first marriage and my last

All those things are big milestones in my life; however, I have more butterflies typing this first post than I did treking all those adventures combined.

I read once that adventure is just fear in hindsite. 100% agree!

Welcome to my blog. It will mostly be my thoughts, things of interest, and pictures. I'm not a writer and I'm not a photographer. I just like to express myself